Uncyclopedia
Ask yourself; what has the world ever done for you? You, a precious beautiful snowflake with a passionate love for Mother Nature, and an irrational hate for Talking Snakes have done nothing but give and give and give to this fat ugly planet, and what have you gotten in return? Not a thing. You reached into your chest and pulled out a beating heart and all of the infinite love contained therein, and The Earth laughed at you and gave you cancer.
Yes, I may have forgotten to mention that you have cancer. Boy that sucks. The AIDS-riddled orphans will miss your company and the way you made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and talked of memories past. But the world doesn't care about that. It chuckles at your misfortune. "Hehehe", the world says.
What a dick. That world has some nerve making light of such a serious situation. After all, it's not every day that a person gets cancer in their head, shoulders, knees, and toes. You my friend, are a marvel of modern science. How is it that in a time when thousands of the smartest scientists who have ever lived are working night and day to cure cancer, you still end up with this disease? The answer is quite simple; the world has it out for you.
You might as well give up now. You're fucked. Cancer-fucked.
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